Artie Lange Stabbed Himself Nine Times in Suicide Attempt

Howard Stern Show sidekick Artie Lange was rushed to the hospital on Sat in a failed suicide attempt, the New York Post has just reported. Lange was found by his mother in his apartment Saturday morning and immediately called 911. Lange was rushed to a Hoboken hospital where three deep stab wounds and six secondary wounds were treated in time to save the troubled comic.

Howard Stern hasn’t comment on these recent revelations yet, and only issued the following statement on Monday after being pressured by a fan who called in:

“We know Artie has problems. He’s documented them well in books and on this radio show, but look… the family is saying that this is their business. This is what they want to talk about when they want to talk about it and I honor that. That’s all you’re going to get out of me.”

This situation is much more serious than just a poor health condition as originally speculated. According to Stern, Lange is still a member of the Sirius XM radio show team and will welcome him back with open arms when the time comes. Reports over the weekend has SNL alum Jim Breuer replacing Artie on the show, but Howard quickly dismissed those rumors.

Lang had not been on the show since November, partly due to his absence but mostly because the Howard Stern show was on vacation for the latter two weeks of December for the holidays. Even then, Stern and the rest of the staff were mum on any specific reason why Artie was absent.

We’ll keep you updated on this breaking news as details emerge.

As huge Stern and Artie fans, the TMR Zoo staff wishes Artie and his family the best of luck and a speedy recovery… from all of his ailments. Good Luck, you baby gorilla.