Artie Lange Stabbed Himself Nine Times in Suicide Attempt

Howard Stern Show sidekick Artie Lange was rushed to the hospital on Sat in a failed suicide attempt, the New York Post has just reported. Lange was found by his mother in his apartment Saturday morning and immediately called 911. Lange was rushed to a Hoboken hospital where three deep stab wounds and six secondary wounds were treated in time to save the troubled comic.

Howard Stern hasn’t comment on these recent revelations yet, and only issued the following statement on Monday after being pressured by a fan who called in:

“We know Artie has problems. He’s documented them well in books and on this radio show, but look… the family is saying that this is their business. This is what they want to talk about when they want to talk about it and I honor that. That’s all you’re going to get out of me.”

This situation is much more serious than just a poor health condition as originally speculated. According to Stern, Lange is still a member of the Sirius XM radio show team and will welcome him back with open arms when the time comes. Reports over the weekend has SNL alum Jim Breuer replacing Artie on the show, but Howard quickly dismissed those rumors.

Lang had not been on the show since November, partly due to his absence but mostly because the Howard Stern show was on vacation for the latter two weeks of December for the holidays. Even then, Stern and the rest of the staff were mum on any specific reason why Artie was absent.

We’ll keep you updated on this breaking news as details emerge.

As huge Stern and Artie fans, the TMR Zoo staff wishes Artie and his family the best of luck and a speedy recovery… from all of his ailments. Good Luck, you baby gorilla.

There’s no doubt that currently, vampires are in, and it is not hard to see why: They are often fashionable, beautiful and mysteriously attractive at least, in the movies.For a look at the real thing, Comcast On Demand’s new series VAMPIRES REVEALED documents the lives of three practicioners of the lifestyle, and how the mainstream frequently misunderstands their beliefs, behavior and daily lives. The series plays through November 2 (find it in the Paranormal folder), and can be accessed 24 hours a day.

One of its subjects is actress Seregon O’Dassey, who has appeared in a number of horror features (see previous interview here) and tells Fango, “It’s about modern vampires. The majority of it is myself, Patrick from Dracula’s Ball and someone who goes by the name Sin. We each document ourselves and give the world a glimpse into our lives—into the modern-day Dracula. We show people that sometimes it’s a little bit like think it is, but mostly we’re just regular people who have fun, and this is our world, as opposed to what people are used to hearing and seeing.”

O’Dassey believes this in-depth exploration will open viewers’ eyes, and that they may be surprised by what they learn. “The Hollywood stereotype is very strong,” she says, “and a lot of people do get fangs made and yeah, we mostly wear black. But we don’t go around attacking people and biting their necks, and we don’t sleep in coffins. We might have them in our houses—I know people who do—but they’re just for decoration, and we don’t live the way people think we do. I believe they’ll be interested to find out that despite how they view us, they really just have no idea.”

Also interviewed in VAMPIRES REVEALED are those surrounding the subjects, including family and friends who, in O’Dassey’s case, have accepted her lifestyle. “There’s nobody at this point who doesn’t know, unless they’ve never met me before,” she says. “I act and model full time, so I have to keep a very mainstream and ‘normal’ look. There’s a really good interview with my mom, which will probably make you chuckle a little because she says she always thought I was a little weird. But my mom’s my best friend, she always has been.”

O’Dassey is right: If you weren’t aware of her lifestyle, her sweet, bubbly demeanor would never give it away, and the manner in which she discusses her life isn’t very unusual either. She even talks about horror and vampire movies the way most of us do: “Just stop remaking things, is my general attitude,” she says, though she doesn’t seem entirely miffed by the way Hollywood represents bloodsuckers. “As long as they keep the stereotype in the movies, that’s one thing. That’s why we’re all doing this show, to give people a little glimpse into the life.